Today’s Would You Rather question is….

Would you rather for the rest of your life, have to wear the clothes that you wore at the age 17 or that you will wear at age 70.

Things to consider: Weight gain, plaid, bell bottoms, looking like a dork.

When I was 17, I thought my clothes were the joint. Lee Jeans, Jordache and a fake, Members Only jacket. Don’t forget the penny loafers and the Michael Jackson jacket.  I knew I was cool.

Somewhere between 55 and 65 fashion goes away!  It just leaves.

I don’t know what happens to people as they age, but they don’t give a damn about what they wear outside the house.  They’re happy they can still dress themselves.

You must choose.  Would you rather wear clothing you wore at the age of 17 or clothing at the age of 70.  What was the style when you were 17?

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Today’s Would You Rather question is Would You Rather:

Go a year without sex but be aroused all the time

or

Go a month without the internet but live in an internet cafe

Things to ponder:

For the sex, this would mean ALL physical contact. No kissing, no rubbing, no touching, no hugging, no porn of any kind. None.

For the internet, this would mean no using it on your phone, at a friend’s house, looking over a shoulder, having someone surf for you. No accessing the internet at all.

Another thing to ponder: Most people are on the web surfing for sex.

You must choose!

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One thing I like about the end of the year is the top countdowns of the best of the best. Movies, t.v. shows, music, you name it.  Well I got my own countdown of the worse products of 2008. This week, the first product is Hit, Slap, Assault No More, Pills for Celebrities. Great idea, but the pills don’t work. Let me explain:

Nov. 14 UK -Kanye West got upset at being captured on film and allegedly got violent — shoving the camera into the snappers face, causing a cut on his nose.  Kanye is a nice boy and wouldn’t act this way for no reason, these pills turned out to be children Flintstone vitamins all in the shape of Bam-Bam! Who could blame him.

Jan 23, Feb 4, March 6, April 12, May 16 UK, Africa, USA, Columbia, Japan - Aiigght, so I made those dates up, but this is Naomi Campbell we’re talking about here. Everytime this witch goes outside, she goes postal.  She doesn’t discriminate either, she slaps cops, housekeepers and personal assistants.  Naomi, it’s obvious that the maker of these pills underestimated your backhand, you deserve a refund.

June 29 UK - Amy Winehouse climbed down from the stage and threw a punch at a fan.  It’s not her fault, the fan started it first. Among other drugs found on Amy was a bottle of these pills.  Not her fault, these pills are the worse!

I have 4 more products to highlight before the end of the year is up. Yall come back real soon, ya hear?

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Today’s Would You Rather question is Would You Rather:

Have access to a MySpace like online community where it was revealed who everyone has had sex with and who their partners had sex with, and so on

or

Have a TiVo that magically records everything that goes through your partner’s head during sex?

Things to consider:

Option number 1 is just yuk, I know all I need to know.  Imagine if you saw a friend’s face as one of your other half’s “buddies”. Oh the untold drama.

Option number 2.  Most guys could not handle this one (maybe some women couldn’t either).  Sometimes, when we’re having sex, with you, we think about other stuff.  Shopping, errands, appointments and sometimes we wish you would just hurry up. You don’t need to know if that one was real or not either.

YOU MUST CHOOSE!

They won’t blab your business at Humor-Blogs.com

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The Goldman family was there because…?

Who gets sentenced to 33 years for armed robbery (he can kill but he can’t steal) in a botched ATTEMPT, to steal his sports memorabilia.

He was stupid, we got that and as the sayging goes: payback is a bitch!

Too bad he wasn’t employed by Merrill Lynch. I heard they were handing out get out of jail free cards.  Go steal a laugh at Humor-Blogs.com

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The rule: Everyone must choose.  Every Wednesday I will post a dilemma and you have to choose.  Simple.  If you’re a man or vice versa you can:  a) wait until the next WYRW b) answer the question anyway c) freak out and click away from my blog.

Would you rather…

have a restless leg and a lazy eye

or

a lazy leg and a restless eye?

First things first: Why do they call it a lazy eye.  Is it really or is it like the Little Engine That Could, it’s trying its best, but it just can’t quite get the job done.  I think we need to be more politically correct when we talk about the lazy eye, it has feelings. What about Amblyopia Challenged Eye or the Delayed Eye.  It’s not lazy!

Before you choose here are some things to consider:

Tracy McGrady?  Could not be his teammate.

I wouldn’t know if he was trying to pass me the ball or doing a no look pass.

I enjoy the no look pass, but dammit, if you are looking at me I need to know for sure.  To hell with the mixed signals your eye is giving me.

Hold on I’m not done yet, don’t choose.

Restless Leg - Basically it’s your legs on crack going through withdrawal symptoms.

You won’t get a bit of rest…Rest Less than most people.  You will constantly want to move your legs and have a pulling, crawling or pins and needles feeling.  Is not pleasant!

Now you can choose.  Would You Rather:

Have MC Hammer legs and confuse the hell outta people by not looking them in the eye.

or

Have MC Hammer eyes and an uncooperative leg that you’d have to carry with you every where you went.

No matter the choice, I can see you walking on over to Humor-Blogs.com and voting for this post.

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Would You Rather Wednesday is coming to The Worse Blog.  I know, I know, what the heck is a Would You Rather Wednesday?

Each week, I will post a diabolically deranged dilemma for you to ponder and you have to answer the question of which one you rather do.  Got it? Good! It will be fun or my name isn’t Orville Redenbacher Nameless Blogger.

Want an example?  Well it’s not Wednesday, so I can’t give you one or I would have to change the series to Would You Rather Monday and who says that. I mean, really.

So come back Wednesday or would you rather visit Humor-Blogs.com and not come back at all. Don’t answer that.

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It’s hard to get upset about these little blue pills that I call “Now N Laters,” take one now and you can use Mr. Johnson later. Obviously guys you take these things to make your woman happy, right?

I was surfing the web and came across this article that said on Dec. 1, Mexico City will distribute free Viagra to men 70 and over.

Why is this a good idea?

How much sex is a 70 year old man having anyway?  What, you don’t think 70 is old enough to have lost that loving feeling?

Okay then, what about the side affects:

• Sudden Vision Loss - Oh yeah, go blind while having sex.
• Chest or heavy feeling, pain spreading to the arm or shoulder, nausea, sweating, general ill feeling; - Heart attack symptoms.
• Swelling in your hands, ankles or feet; - Sounds like PMS.
• Penis erection that is painful or lasts 4 hours or longer. - This one might not be so bad.

After reading all of the side affects, if I were a man, I’d be too scared to take Viagra.  The only beneficial side affect of an erection lasting 4 hours is preparation and I don’t mean H:

• Getting your other half ready;
• Making it to the bedroom;
• Finding your teeth (or maybe not);
• Taking your clothes off;
• Remembering why you’re lying in the bed naked.

You still wanna get a lift or die trying?  I’d think twice.  I heard the only side affects you’ll experience at Humor-Blogs.com is being limp with laughter.

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A homeless man was sentenced four years in prison and ordered to pay more than $101 million for starting two fires, including one that burned more than 163,000 acres in California two years ago.

If the man had $101 million dollars, he would NOT be homeless.  Out of which shopping cart do they think he’s going to pull out his suitcase of money.  Sike! I fooled ya, I’m not really broke. I’m sleeping on the street as a part of a documentary I’m doing for HBO.

Is he supposed to call his attorney and have them wire the money to the State of California.  This man destroyed a forest and just bought him a rent free pad, utilities and meals included, for the next four years. He was wrong, but who’s the dummy?

They don’t harass the poor homeless at Humor-Blogs.com

Photo: St Stev

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Got time for a quickie?

A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to  lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?

She replied, Probably deer hunting with his buddies.

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom………

Of course, this joke was emailed to me.

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